Not My Best 12 Hours…

Imagine yourself, standing outside in the snow. It’s below freezing, and you’ve got your snow boots on, unlaced, over your purple pajamas. And your best winter coat (which is also purple). And your left side is completely soaking wet, down to the fluffy lining of your left boot.

So you resemeble nothing if not a soaking wet bruise on the linen-white face of the snow.

Welcome to “So You Want To Take a Shower Today, Eh?”: a blog in which we discover the joys of wanting to bathe while living in an RV in the frozen tundra that is Canada.

Base camp on a typical morning.

In most modern homes, if you want to take a shower, you simply remove your clothing, turn on the taps, and enjoy the seemingly unendless supply of water.

In an RV in the winter, it’s much more intense. First, there’s the water – unless you have a fairly robust heated hose, you’ll just have to fill your RV’s fresh tank every few days and use the water pump in order to have running water. (Otherwise, the hose will freeze as it is connected to your RV, and that would be far less than fun.)

After you have sufficient water in your tank, you have to heat it – either with a propane or electric water heating system. Depending on the system you use and your particular RV, this can take anywhere from about 15 minutes to an hour or so.

Then, there’s the actual shower. Since you’re not connected to running water, the water pump forces the water out at different rates. So you get this jaws-esque, “duh DUMMMM” every few seconds, and the water spurts at you with a bit more force as the imaginary shark lunges towards you.

If you get good water pressure, then most likely your shower will be short. (You’ll run out of hot water sooner.) If you are content with more of a drool, then you’ll get a super long, albeit rather inefficient bathing experience. (The water hits you with a force so weak, it can’t actually rinse any soap off.)

So you can see, earlier this week, when I decided to take a shower, I knew what I was getting myself into. But all the same, as you’re filling the fresh water tank, in your pajamas and winter coat, I did NOT expect the hose to come flinging out of the RV and get caught UP MY SLEEVE as it poured just -above-freezing-temperature water up my arm, into my armpit, down my side, and into my boot.

The best part? This adventure took place LESS THAN 12 HOURS AFTER the salad bowl barfing adventures. (To catch up with that lovely anecdote, click here!)

As I said… not my best 12 hours. But to end on a positive note, this was me less than an hour after this incident…. so it’s not all bad.

Turns out Jewels is a GREAT model…. for the first picture. I tried to duplicate this photo (to try and look less like a crazed librarian), and she wasn’t having it. So…. DON’T DOGEAR THE PAGES! (Crazed librarian. Get it?)